Times Fables

So education secretary Nicky Morgan, in a desperate bid to prove she isn't a puppet operated by Michael Gove, has reached for the Gove box of daft ideas and plucked one out for us all to marvel at.

Like most Gove suggestions it's one that claims to be 'common sense' and unashamedly traditional in a bid to woo those who have gravitated towards UKIP.

In essence there is very little to fault about a lot of what Morgan has said in today's Sunday Times. Of course we should set high expectations for all pupils and of course we should aim to get them all to be able to master times tables as soon as possible. I agree that the basics are vital in setting children off on the right path.

So far, so good. But then the hype and the problem. Now Morgan wants to ramp up the pressure on teachers, pupils and heads in a 'war' on innumeracy (I'd vote for someone who launched a war on terrible clichés). If all pupils can't master the times tables,  read a novel, write a short story and pass questions on long division by 11 then the headteacher will be sacked.

Headteachers face a pretty tough job already and now they could face working conditions that mean they last less time in their post than the average football manager. I worry that the less bright children will be seen as a hindrance who could cost someone a job, a statistic rather than a person who deserves help to get the most out of their potential, however limited that may be. Do they not remember what school was like at that age?  There's always at least one kid in each class who is still mesmerised by the taste of their bogies or daydreaming about adventures with dinosaurs.  A lot rests on their shoulders to set aside the bogies and dinosaurs on one given test day and deliver the goods. I wouldn't want my job resting on that.

I also worry that schools face constant change at the top, leaving instability and rendering it difficult for parents to get to know their headteacher or for the head to get to know the community they are working in.

The tone today would have you believe the goals Morgan has laid out aren't taught or aren't aspirations at the moment. I don't think there can be any teacher in the country that doesn't aim to get their pupils to reach the standards on that list. Still, rather than help them further let's go to war with these teachers and threaten them with the sack, that's constructive.

One bizarre paragraph in today's Sunday Times reads: "At the moment, tests at key stage 2 contain questions on times tables and long division but there is no requirement for pupils to answer those parts of the tests correctly."

I know what they're getting at but the point of any test is that you may well get something wrong and there's very few tests at any level that 'require' 100% to pass.

I'm also worried about rote learning. Isn't this what we tried to move away from?  Memorise the times tables if you like but understanding how to solfe number problems is another thing. Read a novel, yes, but being inspired to explore books in your own time is surely better? All this comes after a call for children to learn key dates from British history back in the Gove era. What next? Being able to recall the Christmas number ones of the last 20 years? Reel off the Oscar winners at will, have the capital cities of South America at your fingertips and know the names of the rugby players who have competed on Strictly Cone Dancing? That's all pretty useful for a pub quiz but memory recall and intelligence aren't the same thing. There will be some children who consign their times tables swiftly and effectively to the memory banks but who can't apply their knowledge. Won't there be a temptation to leave these children alone since they won't get you the sack?

We also see that there's the latest obsession with our position on the world league tables. Of course it's nicer to be among the top performers but I can't think it's healthy to always compare yourself to others. Let's set our own goals and let Finland worry about their own children.

Still, if getting your basic sums wrong is a sackable offence then what about politicians who promise to eliminate the deficit in five years but only manage half?  Watch out George, your time's (tables) up...